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"The first light of Advent is the light of the stones. Stones that live in crystals, seashsells, and bones." -Rudolph Steiner
We celebrated the first Sunday of Advent tonight by using our birthday ring as a make shift Advent wreath/candle holder. We placed four candles in it and lit one to acknowledge the first week. We placed some stones and sea shells on our nature table to represent one of the four kingdoms. This week it was the mineral kingdom. Afterwards, we had apple pie for our bedtime snack!
The advent wreath is a greman tradition and we learned about it from Waldorf education. Ian loves it when we make new family traditions and rituals in our home. It was an exciting evening for him as it marks the first day of our celebration of the Christmas month!
It has been six months since I wrote my last blog post and since then a lot has happened in our lives. I debated whether to share my story, but I think it is one that needs to be heard and one that I need to tell.
One thing that most of you don't know is that I was pregnant and on September 6th, 2010 gave birth to a still born baby boy at close to being 5 months pregnant. Isaac Joseph was born peacefully, his heart had stopped beating in my womb. Giving birth to him was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I knew that at the end of my induced labor, I would never get to bring my baby home. I would never get to experience the bond of nursing my child. Never get to hear him say his first word, or see him take his first step. He would never get to meet his siblings. We would never know his personality or who he would become. It has taken some time to get used to this but I think I become more accepting each day but mostly it still feels raw.(Baby Isaac 9 Weeks in Utero)
The last few months have been difficult but as the days pass, it has been getting easier and easier to cope. I have done a lot of reading on the subject of pregnancy loss, met a new friend who has gone through something similar, and am planning on documenting Isaac's story in a scrapbook and setting up a small memorial space in our home to honor the baby that we will never know. It is part of my healing process.
As the days get easier and the grief somewhat lessens, I find myself wanting to participate in the world again. This blog has been a comfort to me in the past. It has inspired me to share and document our family story and has introduced me to a community of likeminded individuals who share the same interests, values, and beliefs as I do. I am hoping to fequent this space once again to share parts of our daily life with you. Thank you for joining me.
